Strands of Beck

Our new year 2012

2012-01-26T10:06:00.001-08:00

When I first typed the title I put a 2011, ha. My life is speedily flashing before my eyes before I know it I'll be meeting my maker after suffering through old age. On a happier note, we had fun bringing in the New Year with our kids. Usually we try to hang out or party with some other adults and just end up feeling uncomfortable because we can't think of anything fun to do. When it's just us and our kids we can do whatever we want and not feel silly because our ideas are silly. A few days before our new year's eve we made some focus boards with our kids so we could get a good idea of what their goals were for the next year and so we could figure out our own. Then we dedicated the six hours before midnight to 6 common goals we all had, one for each hour. We picked a food and an activity that went with each of the six goals and guess what it was fun! We chose a family scripture "feast upon the words of Christ..." and our first family goal was to read the scriptures everyday so we read them and then we feasted on our seven layer bean dip. Delicious, both the scriptures and the bean dip. Next our goal as a family was to pray together everyday so we said our nightly family prayers (yes it was a few hours before bedtime) and then we ate big pretzels dipped in cheese, because pretzels look like folded arms. Next we all had exercise oriented goals so we ate a veggie tray we had made and had a hoola hooping contest, we had so much fun laughing at eachother and watching a few of the younger kids learn how it was done. Then we played bowling on our wii because you know bowling is totally exercise and wears you out. Our fourth goal was to eat healthy so we got out our fruit and ate away, we would try to eat at the same time every hour but we were getting a little full at this point. We then enjoyed a rousing game of chicken foot, everyone can play it and for some reason our kids just love any game (it's definately a Beckstrand thing). We started getting tired just about the time Daniel showed up with David and so we sat down with our snickers bars and watched pokemon until the countdown I can't remember what the Snickers were for I just know they satisfy. We watched the ball drop our time midnight and then we all gave eachother a kiss and went off to bed.

Motivation vs. Time

2012-01-19T20:08:00.001-08:00

It's a battle I've not gotten a handle on as of yet. I have so many asperations for myself and for my family. I have tried to put focus on what I do as to where I am in my life. Right now I feel like I am in the middle of raising my family so my husband and kids come first. Therefore I do triathalon training to hang out with hubby and I try try try to do homeschool with my children so that their little brains will be fried be me instead of their peers and random teachers in school. I also want to learn to play the guitar better, write a fictional book about teen dating, and become independently wealthy somehow (a.k.a. write a book). Suffice it to say that not all these things are going to happen. Even all the things I'm trying to do right at this moment aren't all happening. Running a daycare is taking a lot of my time away from all my STUFF, but it has been such a blessing. Especially as of right now when John is out of work, we still have income and the kids have a sense of normalcy as do the rest of us. We have all been able to help others because of the kids we watch we all get an opportunity to help and do service. My children don't get a chance to feel bored or spoiled, etc. I'm glad I have a daycare! John is going to be teaching as of February 1st at RedRock at least that's what we're planning on for now. Finally he will finish his teaching degree (angels singing). If I've learned anything in life it's plans CHANGE, things change, my plan from now on is to just trust in the Lord and that in the end I will be where I'm supposed to be. Life's a crazy journey but the finish line is the tree of life at the end of the iron rod. Not very poetic I know but still...

31 days to a better budget

2011-11-01T17:01:00.000-07:00

I thought this looked like a good idea and I didn't want to lose the link! Plus you guys can all look through it as well now.

More pic's from our trip

2011-06-13T19:19:00.001-07:00

SeaWorld pictures and Saturday I made everyone come with me to go pick fresh strawberries, they thanked me afterward.

Adventures in California Land

2011-06-13T12:35:00.000-07:00

We did sooo much stuff while we were visiting California. We stayed in Carlsbad at a great Inn, it had enough beds for all of us and was more like an apartment rather than a hotel, I liked it. I don't think I took any pictures of it though :(. We left on mothers day and headed down. We met Deb and Lance's family at Disneyland on Monday morning bright and early and Lance had Mary in love with him within the first 15 minutes, if any of you really know Mary you know this is quite the feat. We rode as many of the rides as we could and kept going back to Tower of Terror over and over of course it was everyones favorite ride, Mary even went on it a few times, lol. We ate dinner together and then split up and drove back to the hotel slept quick and then met the Johnsons again on tuesday for more Disney fun, we were so pooped by the end of the day we bugged out about an hour early and went home. Wednesday John and I woke up early and ran about 3 miles along the paved beachpath and decided not to do it again because of the crazy man on the bicycle saying unsavory things in our vicinity :P. We spent the rest of the day at the beach boogie boarding and building sandcastles, oh and how can I forget playing in the waves. So Fun! Thursday we ran again but in the gym and sweat so badly because of the humidity, blah. We were only 1 mile away from Legoland and we all decided it was worth the one visit but probably won't go back again unless it's with a new group, like future grandkids for example. Friday was SeaWorld and all day all we did was go to shows and we got to feed the Dolphins, pretty cool. We all enjoyed it thoroughly, the last thing we did was go on the thrill ride Atlantis they had there and freaked ourselves out, but it was a fun, scary ride. Saturday we went to the beach again and did more of the boogie boarding, we were more use to the temperature by this point and didn't whimp out as easily, it was probably around 65* not bad and the sand was warm. We did go to the Hotel pool afterward for an hour or two, we weren't keeping track. After we cleaned up we walked down to the Coldstone they had on the boardwalk/village and got ourselves icecream, yum. Sunday we got packed up cleaned our room and found ourselves a church to attend and met someone who knew where St. George was and told us it was no wonder our kids were so well behaved if we were from there, lol. I loved going and it was the best mothers day/fathers day gift ever, maybe I'll do it again next year only somewhere different :P.

Ironman

2011-05-13T20:09:00.000-07:00

John competed in his first IronMan May 7, 2011. He trained for a year and finished in 14hrs15min20sec. We are all really proud of him and had fun watching him compete and are all kind of glad his training days are over. Towards the end he was doing about 500 miles a month on the bike, 9 miles a month swimming, 80 miles a month running. It took a lot of time to say the least. The kids all competed in the kids run to it was fun to watch as well, they felt an IM kinship with John because of it I think.

StUpiD HouSe

2010-05-29T13:10:00.000-07:00

We are no longer going to be living on morningside dr., our loan modification was approved for an amount we cannot pay which with the escrow was equal to our original payment. The people at citi-mortgage were not willing to work with us and so we found a nice house over on 600 s. to rent while we save for a piece of land to build on. We're hoping we can save enough money in five years to buy land and build. Plans are plans though, you never know what life will throw at ya. If we can just raise a bunch of healthy happy kids my life will be complete. I don't really care if we rent the rest of our lives but it would be a bonus if John could retire, ya know. We have until the 18th which is the weekend of girlscamp, before our house goes up for auction but we will be out before then hopefully. I have to get my new place safety, fire, and kitchen inspected before I can be approved to be state certified for my daycare, now that will be a hassle. I can get through this without too much stress, I know I can. I won't be dealing with citimortgage afterall. Just wanted to give you all an update. Kristal

Emma's Birthday! #11

2010-05-25T07:50:00.000-07:00

Wow I have a tween and don't I know it! Last night she invited her two friends Tori Burgess and Abby Finlinson to dinner at Golden Corral. They liked the food so much I didn't hear very much conversation out of them, lol. Emma let John and I tag along so we could pay for it, thanks Emma. Aunt Jenn B. babysat the rest of the crew which we really appreciated, thanks Jenn. After dinner we came home and had cake and ice cream with the family and friends Emma invited over, very low key. Then Emma opened her gifts, which she loves. She's been carrying them around all morning. Emma designed her cake and we made it together, I put on the big slabs of fondant and she did all the decorating, which is the fun part anyway. Emma is such a good helper to me, her mother. She is always trying her hardest to do what is right and has great priorities when it comes to values, school, and family. She loves her pets and siblings, and has a fun with all the little day care babies to. She loves growing her hair out long but HATES brushing it, lol. The day she was born was a hot one, and we lived in a house with a swamp cooler. On sunday the day before she was born I started having contractions 10 minutes apart and they lasted all day long, I broke out in an itchy rash all over my body and was scared, lol. I didn't know what to expect and I itched and scratched. I went to sleep that night for a couple of hours but woke up early in the morning at about 4:30 with what I thought were hard contractions, little did I know. I had a mid-wife come over to our home and distract me to know end with her phone calls to her kids while trying to get them to their last day of school, blah! I had the mount olympus man deliver my water for my cooler and was thoroughly put out. Finally after putting frozen peas on my arms and legs to ease the itching I was going through in my stinkin hot house, I had Emma just after 2:30 in the afternoon. She was 6lbs 1oz. a tiny little girl who I loved. She didn't cry at all she looked at me with those big eyes. She was born ten days early. She had the skinniest little body with no fat to speak of, but boy did she put on fat fast, everyone kept telling me I was serving her cream instead of milk, they might have been right. Over the years she has been the happiest child so willing to help whenever she is needed and happy in whatever situation she is thrown into. I am so glad she was sent to me and our family, she is one of the greatest joys of my life. I love you Emma from, mom.

STUPID HOUSE!!!

2010-05-21T13:28:00.000-07:00

I'm just going to give you all an update on our house so you can be in suspense with us. We or I should say I (because the house is in my name) have been working with citimortgage on a loan modification since October of 2008. It's been a long discouraging road, I have thought more times than I can count that we would be kicked out of our home. The hardest part to think about a year ago was; but I put the roof on myself, I tiled the floor myself, I painted all these rooms myself. I put a lot of work into this house, it's in an awesome location, right by family and in a great ward. I grew up here, my kids have great friends here, I get good clients for my daycare business here. I do not want to move for obvious reasons. Now I'm to the point where I don't want to move because I would lose something a sense of security I thought that I had when I BOUGHT my own home. I'm coming to realize nothing is really mine, I already knew everything was the Lords but citimortgage obviously thinks its theirs. I'm being facetious. So to go on, citimortgage told us that our modification was approved and they sent us the final paperwork to sign two days ago on May 19th we recieved it UPS. We opened it up and tada... we end up paying the exact price our original payment was a year and half ago before we asked for financial assistance from them. I mean what idiot wrote this modification. I obviously can't afford to pay this amount or I already would have been paying it, duh!!! Idiots!!! I can't explain enough how frustrated I am. I have until the 24th to sign the agreement which is a monday, it conveniently lets them get away with not calling me until it's too late to talk about it because it's the weekend and they don't work on weekends, ha! I don't know at this point if we will be staying but I'm pretty sure we won't. I don't know if they are in a bargaining mood, if they're not we are gonners. It doesn't look pretty folks, there's death and carnage all over. Death of my mortgage I mean. I learned once that mortis is latin for death and gage is latin for grip, maybe this is my chance to escape this deathgrip they have me in. I'm trying to find the bright side in all this. I have my family, and we are all healthy, we love eachother, we will go on living and in a year, maybe even six months, none of this will matter. It will be a distant memory as with every other challenge I've gone through, BUT I will be a better person for it.

Plum Cherry

2010-05-17T20:33:00.001-07:00

So I finally figured out tonight, after much googling, that I have a plum cherry tree. My aunt Renee told me my tree was a dwarf plum but I kept finding those little short trees you can grow in a planter when I was googling dwarf plum :P. So I had to look up purple leaved trees, it didn't ever say if the fruit was edible on all the pages I looked at I was told that it was an ornamental tree that sometimes bears fruit. Hmmm? I think I will go out and pick it anyway and see if I can't make some jam or fruit leather, it seems like such a waste doesn't it, just letting the birds eat it all? I was also told it was good for an oriental garden which I do not have but I do love the blossoms it produces in the spring, it's so pretty.

I AM LUCKY!

2010-05-10T21:11:00.001-07:00

ok so poor me I had the flu on Saturday, but I was lucky enough to have it on a day that it didn't affect my daycare work. I also had a brother who babysat for me so I could sleep, instead of puke, blah! Mothers Day I was still pretty drained so my mother, who is an angel let us come over and eat her food and she made me a yummy juice drink so I would have some electrolytes in my system. She still mothers me, I love it. I also got some wonderful gifts from my children, thanks to all their great church leaders :). John got me a new ipod, because I washed my last one in the laundry, sad but true, he must love me if he keeps buying these things for me. I'm just kidding I know he loves me because he is so sweet, and caring, and giving, etc. etc. I don't want to make you all sick with my mushiness. I changed my blog background to "I am so Lucky" because I do feel lucky, or I should say blessed, everyday I hear about other peoples troubles and I'm glad I have my own, even in my trials I have been blessed. God gives us what we can handle and the farther away my troubles get behind me the better I feel about them, lol. There's nothing me and the Lord can't handle.

The Beckstrands

2010-05-03T12:28:00.000-07:00

I'm back to my regular posting so I figured I'd e-mail you all again with no chance of a bikini clad me and speedo clad John (ok it wasn't really a speedo). The big news here is John has signed up for the St. George Ironman. He's already signed up and yes he's really going to do it, he woke up this morning and went running, he's seriously serious folks. I on the other hand am not signing up but I hope to trail after him in his work-out wake. The kids won't miss us because we will be working out in the early mornings still. As for the rest of our lives things have been plugging along as usual, we get bumped and jarred by outside influences every once in a while but we are all happy and alive and still believe Christ and our Heavenly Father are there for us during all of our challenges. Other than that I'm excited for mothers day, I've already put in my order for what I want from John and I'm looking forward to the songs my kids have been working on in primary. Kali has been sing "Mother I love you, mother I do" all week, too cute.

What you don't see

2010-04-29T16:38:00.000-07:00

-most mornings if I'm wearing makeup it's from the day before :)
-If I'm doing really good John can roll me out of the bed by 5:20 to get ready for the gym.
-Half the time I'm not doing really good and don't exercise.
-I eat more treats than my kids because I sneak food behind their backs (wow that's messed up)
-After my daycare kids leave at 5:20 at night I'm so tired I find the easiest thing in my house to make for dinner and get it over with.
-Did I mention I hate to cook and shop for food.
-I'm getting really good at saving my money.
-Some days I can't stand doing my hair but I don't know if that's really considered a behind the scenes thing, you can obviously tell.
-I hate to vaccuum, I don't know how to spell vaccuum.
-I hate to clean the toilet!
-I'm the only one in my house who know how to clean a toilet, lol.
-I'm addicted to buying, frames and clocks, or maybe I should say use to be, as I said before I'm getting really good at saving my money.
-I get on facebook 2 times a day now as opposed to the ten times a day that I use to when I first got my internet back.
-I always think about calling my friends but I never do.
-I have all my kids potti-trained but now they like to steal and lie. Or maybe not like to do it but it's the next poopy stage their going through.
-I'm the new co-camp director for girlscamp with my sis-in-law Holly and I actually stood up for myself and got Esther as our ward biblewoman.
-I never stand up for myself.
-I love my husband who gives me a kiss hello every single time he sees me.

2010-04-28T11:23:00.000-07:00

I have my surgery date set for August 27th. I will be getting a mommy makeover minus the liposuction on my butt. I'm a little torn between wether I want to do it or not so I decided if I'm not gunhoe about it I just won't. I will be completely down for one week because of the tummy tuck and after that it'll take 12 weeks before I can workout again. That's why I decided to wait until the end of summer so I could have a good time this summer, it is my favorite season afterall. I don't know how much of a good time I'll be having though because I work now. I also won't have my mother-in-laws pool to swim in. We'll see. At this point in my life I'm just trying to feel normal, I'm just finishing up with a rough two and a half years(hopefully finishing up). And I'm trying to not to take some divorces and broken relationships personally. I have that problem some people have of taking other peoples problems onto myself and trying to fix them, and I wonder if I should. I try not to be selfish when things like this happen because it's not about me at all but they are ruining my comfortable feelings I have about eternal marraige here. Hello have a little consideration, lol. You all know I'm just joking. I feel like if you married in the temple and you have a strong testimony you should just work it out no matter what it is, but then on the other hand I don't know how I would react personally to John if I was so utterly betrayed. How would I react, I like to think it would be in a very selfless way, but I really don't have to, so I can't honestly say I would. It's all very much like someone is taking my brain and shaking it like an etchasketch. I'm glad I'm not these people I love that have to go through these challenges and make these decisions I have my own and I'm thankful that they're in the past, I know I'll have more in the future and the scare me to think about so I don't. What's the point in that, just deal with what I have today and look to the future with hope and of course faith. God can conquer all things and so can man with his help. I needed to vent! And it's not even me going through this crap, I can't even imagine!

2010-04-23T16:11:00.000-07:00

well John let me take his picture about 2 or 3 days after the actual 12 week mark not because he was trying to widdle away that last piece of fat, no we're just lazy, lol. We are still waking up every morning, ok most mornings and working out at the gym. Our membership to Gold's expires in 2 and a half months and then I think we'll probably start doing p90x for free in our home, imagine. Anywho I'm ready to start doing a normal family oriented blog now and for all of you who have been following our progress you'll see no more until August when I post my before tummy tuck pictures! Unless something horrible happens and my plans have to change, it's been known to happen. See you in the future, Kristal

Final Picture Day!

2010-04-15T18:48:00.001-07:00

Well here it is and tada I haven't changed enough to win my competition, but it was great motivation, and that is what I ultimately did it for. I didn't actual get to go in today for the final weigh in because of work, but I did all my own measurements and took some final pictures so lets compare: 1st week waist was 29" and my 12 week waist is 28 1/2". I lost half an inch :) I appearantly didn't write down what my thighs and hips were back then but I'm guessing it was more than half an inch I'll write it down here for posterity, lol. Hips 36" and thighs 22", it's still more than I would like if I'm being honest, but if I'm being realistic it's great. I am going to do another 3 month round of working out before I have my tummy tuck so hopefully I can have a lot less fat on me than I do now. My body fat was 20% on the first week and during my 12 weeks it fluxuated from 17-22% I didn't go in today so I honestly don't know what it's at today, it all depends on water retention and my father who knows everything says those electronic readers are not all that reliable. My weight to start off with was 131 lbs. and today it's 135 lbs. dagnabit. My biceps are much much bigger I wish I would have measured those 12 weeks ago. My thighs are starting to get some muscle again and my calves as well but they still need a lot of work! My next goal will be to lose another pant size, that's the best way to measure it anyway. Thanks for all of your support and when I do actually do my tummy tuck I will post before and after pictures for ya all.

April 10, 2010

2010-04-10T10:30:00.000-07:00

I've boycotted the picture this week, next week is my final weigh in so I will be posting my final picture then. I told myself I was only going to eat a certain number of calories per day, which isn't hard when you eat the right foods but Holly offered me a cinnamon roll, homemade just out of the oven cinnamon roll, and could i so no? I think you already know the answer. All days are harder than others, not some days are harder than others. I'm so busy today I ate breakfast at 10 instead of 8 and my body is hungrier than normal now, it's hard to be healthy, but it's also hard to be unhealthy. I think I'd rather be healthy rather than not so if it's gonna be hard either way the choice really shouldn't be that difficult. So why is it? Eh who knows. I will keep trying each new day to be better do better live better.

april 7, 2010

2010-04-07T08:47:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of us at the Dixie College Easter Egg Hunt, Emma was there but she was with her friend Josie. We had an interesting weekend it was Easter and Alex was grounded, that doesn't make for too much fun. John had the weekend off but he really didn't because he was working on the basement. It's coming along, he's just putting the putty now then sand and paint, so it'll be done probably by next weekend that's the hope anyway. Alex was grounded because he's been on a stealin/lying spree. Sneaking on the nintendo sneaking on to watch movies early in the morning, stealing money, lying about it all (of course). He's really learning a lot, I hope! We've doubled our efforts for personal scripture study and prayer in the hope that he will be able to avoid the temptations of the devil. Kind of funny when you hear that way but not really, it's horrible. He knows it is and he's trying very hard to be a good boy. As for me I ate 3 cupcakes yesterday and 4 fast food tacos so I'm having a hard time resisting temptation myself. I'm going to have to read my scriptures more to, I actually think they give me strength to have more control over myself the same way Alex will have control over himself. The natural man is an enemy to God and me! We are all struggling with ourselves every day.

March 5, 2010

2010-04-05T16:46:00.000-07:00

Wow today has been very spring like, started out sort of windy and overcast but still kinda warm, then it started sprinkling in the afternoon. Later today at about fivish the sun was shining through but it was raining, I love it when it does that here. And now it's hailing and the wind is blowing really hard, and tomorrow I bet the sun will be out again. I'm glad we have spring but I'm sick of my coats hanging in the entryway. I didn't eat as badly as I normally do during a holiday but I did eat a lot more junk than my body is use to on sunday and my stomach actually hurt. Yeah my resistance to fried food and candy is gone, I guess I'll just have to eat healthy from now on, dang it. I am ready to rebegin my morning regimen of working out again tomorrow :(. I didn't think that the time change would throw me off the wagon so badly! I have been using my treadmill at home a lot more lately, because I can't leave the kids for that long and go work out. They are almost all old enough, but when my oldest daughter Emma leaves I lose my babysitter. The gym has a daycare but they close at five and I'm usually still open for daycare at that time. Mornings are just best, plus it starts me off before my kids which for some reason makes them happier.

April 3, 2010

2010-04-03T17:56:00.000-07:00

I have less than 2 weeks left on my bodylicious make over and I'm not so liciious but I am a body, lol. John and I have been too busy to take his picture but I made him take mine last night, he thought he could wait and take his until after sweating a lot this morning playing basketball. His loss, or is it? Anyway I know I'm not winning this thing but I do like the way my body looks a whole lot better, even if no one but people who see me in a bikini get to look at the changes, ok just a few people on this blog and myself. I get to weigh in so soon and I'm not liking the scale I talked about this a few days ago, I won't go there again. I went to my class this morning and totally got my butt or should I say thighs kicked! ouch! It was like I had never been to the gym in my life. I was on fire, my thighs my butt my calves, I felt like a weakling who couldn't hack it. I know I'll be in pain tomorrow, it's a good thing it means change is happening.

April 1, 2010

2010-04-01T12:40:00.000-07:00

I went to workout yesterday and I felt wierd being there at a different time (7pm) because I didn't recognize any of the people working out, lol. Today is picture day but John works all day so we'll be posting tomorrow, I can almost gaurantee that there won't be any change, unless I'm fatter because I didn't work out for two days and I ate cookies, that always makes me gain weight, I'm sabotaging my own plan to win the Know your own strength Challenge at Gold's Gym because I know I'm not gonna win so if I eat cookies and don't work out then I'll have a legitimate reason for not winning. I know it sounds stupid and I didn't realizing I was doing it until yesterday then I had to go work out for me instead of the contest. I appreciate everyones comments it helps me to keep going when I hear that other people can see the changes and not just me.

March, 28, 2010

2010-03-28T16:05:00.000-07:00

Self-esteem is a funny thing, well I think it's funny because, it affects the way I treat others around me. Why do I put such a high priority on the way I look? I've always been physically active and like to say I exercise for my health, you know to live longer, be able to play with my kids, and just feel good during my day. But I also work out so I can look good and like myself. When I like myself I treat others better, my children, my husband, and other people I don't even know. When I feel self confident I DO treat others better, why? I'm not worried about what they think about me, when I know what I think about me is all that matters. Usually I only say that when I have a lot of self love, lol. When I think less about myself I care more about what others think because my opinion of myself is so low, maybe I worry their is a low opinion also. When I work out and eat right I have a higher opinion of myself just because I'm doing all I can to be healthy, even though I look pretty much the same as I did before. I mean I look a little different in a bikini but in clothes I don't look too much different. I have less of a muffin top on my hips and look skinnier when you look at me from the side, but pretty much I wear the same jeans and the same shirts. But I feel better in those clothes because i know the body underneath is healthy! Maybe that's why I care about how I look, because I treat others like I love them because I just assume everyone loves me, instead of being scared they think I'm ugly and worthless. It doesn't really make sense because i don't think that about out of shape or unhealthy people, but that's how I feel, it's one of my defects I suppose, not enough self love. It's a self discovery. At least I'm not worried about being a skinny waif of a girl like I wanted to be in highschool, I think that's why I'm not afraid of weight lifting. There's no way my body is ever going to be small like most of my sis-in-laws I just wasn't built to be that way! I have always had an hour glass figure minus the boobs now :( after kids, so now I guess I'm a pear :(. But I do feel beautiful when I'm healthy so I love to work out just to feel a self acceptance. Self esteem is a funny thing.

March 27, 2010

2010-03-27T10:09:00.000-07:00

last night I did not go to the gym, but i did run on my treadmill at home for 45 minutes. I woke up and went to the gym this morning and lifted instead and then ran on the treadmill for 40 minutes I'm so proud of myself. Instead of having my low carb protien post work out shake for a snack I'm having a protien high carb bowl of icecream with fudge yummy. I will be feeding the rest to the kids today after they finish their chores, that way I won't keep having a bowl of ice cream all day long, lol. I weighed 130 after my run, running always makes me lose weight! I guess I'll just have to make the time!

March 25, 2010

2010-03-26T12:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes life seems so monotonous, then I realize I'm still dealing with hormones and I go eat some chocolate, lol. I was having one of those days yesterday and the day before, why do I even live, just to work? No I'm pmsing look at all these zits, on my face, I'm pmsing. etc, etc... I didn't even feel bad when after two days of wanting chocolate I finally asked John to get some on his way home. Sometimes eating just makes me feel better, I'm not over weight (although 137lbs. at 5'4 feels like it), I'm actually really buff and fit into my size 5 levi's really well. I deserve to have chocolate! I eat fruits and veggies all day long, I've actually been doing really well this last week since bingeing in vegas, thank you very much. One little bowl of ice cream will not hurt me, it might actually do me some good. And yes it did, but does all this sound like rationalizations? I can't tell at this point, ask me when I'm not pmsing, lol. I think I might have another bowl tonight, maybe I'll share it with the kids though so I won't be eating it for a week straight. John and I didn't wake up to work out this morning because he had to be to work at 7 and work until 11, I would have been afraid to wake up at five to. So I'll be going without him after my daycare closes today. It should be interesting to lift weights without him, maybe even a little bit intimidating with all those guys over in that manly weight lifting section, lol. It's a new hurdle for me to overcome. I've changed my mind about weighing myself I'm going to do it once a week, I can't wait until the end to look, curiosity plays a strong role in my life.

march 25, 2010 picture day

2010-03-25T08:47:00.000-07:00

alright so I posted my pictures yesterday for my 2 month mark. Today is Thursday though so I'm posting my end of week 9 pictures. I'm quite a bit hesitant to post these because I couldn't find my regular bottoms (laundry), so I wore the matching bottoms. They are a bit distracting because they show more of my stretch marks and also because they show more muscle on my stomach. I hope none of you are offended, but you can see my obliques now. You can also tell I've been tanning a bit because the shadows make my chest look bigger, lol. I think I'll just wear these bottoms for the rest of my pictures and try to get my stomach muscles stronger. Let me know what you think. Johns lookin good!

John's 2 month picture show condensed version

2010-03-24T11:33:00.000-07:00

my two month picture slide show shortened version

2010-03-24T10:40:00.000-07:00

march 24, 2010

2010-03-24T08:22:00.000-07:00

i weighed more today than I did yesterday. I've decided not to weigh myself until the last week of the weigh in and just do my best regaurdless of what the scale might say. It's hard not to care, don't ask me why, it's just a mental barrier I have not yet broken through. I might say I don't care when I talk to people but deep down I really do. I am going to change that. I've been doing really good about my eating since coming back from Vegas more fruits and veggies and less crackers, lol. I exercised this morning even though John tried to tell me we would do it later, I feel proud of myself for being the motivational one, yeah me! Picture day is tomorrow and I'm still sunburned maybe you'll all get to see it in the pictures, lol.

March 23, 2010

2010-03-23T07:39:00.000-07:00

I went to the gym today, yeah for me! I weighed myself at the gym :(, Vegas was not nice! I weighed 130 the day I left(because I'd gone running that morning I'd lost a lot of water weight, lol) today I was back up and had gained 1 lb. 136! Oh my good heavens will I ever get down to 120? I keep saying that I'm going to get strict with my eating and then I go and do things like all you can eat all day at a buffet! Can we say use your brains Kristal! I also ate trail mix last night before I went to bed because I felt like I needed a snack. Eating at night has always caused me to - not lose weight. I have a tough time learning from my mistakes when it comes to food, I don't know why. I just like eating, it makes me happy when something is crunchy or a cheesy. I need to find joy in other things that are better that I can do when I am alone before bedtime. If John is around I am not so bored, yes it's all John's fault that's it! My sister-in-law Jen H. told me my arms were looking buffer, so thank you for that, it made me feel good that someone else could physically see some results. And every once in a while my mom will say "you look skinnier". But only one person has said anything about my red hair does it really look bad or is just not noticeable? I think it looks good so it just must be too sublte. I went tanning at the beds for the third time yesterday and upped my time from 6 minutes to 7 minutes and my chest stomach and butt are fried like a red lobster! It's not as painful as a real sunburn for some reason but it's flippin red. I hope I don't peel, lol.

march 22, 2010

2010-03-22T07:59:00.000-07:00

Well we went to Vegas and saw Ka a cirque de soleil show, and it was amazing. The had a moving stage and it was a story about a young brother and sister who fought for a their nation and another one. There wasn't any talking except for an opening explaination and it was great. I loved watching the choreography we were going to go to a dance club afterwards but we were so tired. It was about 12 our time when it ended and it made me feel so old, but i wake up early to go work out so I can't stay up late right. John was actually falling asleep in the show and i had to keep waking him up so he wouldn't waste the $50 it cost for our tickets, lol. We also didn't wake up this morning to go workout because the weekend was too much for me I decided I needed another full night of long restful sleep. The most exciting thing that happened this weekend though was our purchase of a timeshare. We are part of RCI time share which means we can go almost anywhere in the world for one week and the cost is so minimal because we own it the rest of our lives and we can put it in our will when we die so we will always own it. I'm excited to travel the world with my family! Posted is a picture of one of the live lions they have at the MGM, they had a tunnel of glass you could walk under and look up them sleeping :).

March 19, 2010

2010-03-19T15:18:00.000-07:00

Today is my dads birthday and my brother Curtis' birthday, we are all getting old together, lol. So John worked all day yesterday and we obviously didn't post our pictures but we took some early this morning after our work-out. I haven't even looked at them I get so discouraged looking at the size of my butt, ahhh! John and I are going to Las Vegas this weekend instead of in May when our anniversary is, just because. Hopefully we'll get to go see LaReve, we'll be staying at the Excalibur, the weather is going to be as nice as it is here in St. George and I look forward to having some lazy time! This DayCare is a serious business, it keeps me sooo busy! Here's the pics :).

March 17, 2010

2010-03-17T12:20:00.000-07:00

HAPPY ST. PATRICKS DAY! Anyway enough of the happiness, on with the show. I couldn't wake up on Tuesday to go to the gym because of the time change, of course. I didn't have to watch any kids on Monday morning so I went in at 7 no big deal I thought it would ease me in better having an extra day, ha! So I missed tuesday completely but that didn't matter because we are doing construction in our basement and swinging the hammer and cutting with the little straight edge knife made me sore. ouchy. I did however manage to wake up this morning but only because John made me, if he hadn't I would not have gone, I admit it. I have only become slightly better in my eating habits minus tuesday- that day I ate pizza and frozen burritos I didn't even count my calories, I don't want to know! I didn't give in last night when John baited me with "ice cream sure sounds good" I think it was mostly because I was so dang tired I had to go to bed at 9:15 I couldn't hack it any longer. I feel like a pessimist and my eating habits are bad and you know what I think it's because I start my cycle this coming saturday, yes I'm blaming it on PMS. But that also means I'm allowing my body to control me rather than my mind, I gotta get more self control other wise I'm never gonna make it into heaven. Eating is just a bi-line to all the other things I can't control but it is one of the things I should have control over right? Tomorrow is picture day and I don't feel ready. I have one month left starting tomorrow until my final weigh in, it's time to be drastic! I need to see more of a change. You know I did dye my hair and no one noticed I need to be more drastic in that matter to, I added red streaks you think they would have been able to see it, they meaning people at church my sisters/mother-in law. I haven't seen my own parents yet but I'm starting to wonder if they'll notice either. I guess we'll find out soon, fake bake is up this week I swear I'm gonna make time to get over there for 15 minutes (that includes drive time), how hard can it be to find the time? answer: really, really, extremely difficult.

March 13, 2010

2010-03-13T07:29:00.000-08:00

I figured I'd post a picture of Kali's cake since it took me 4 hours to make it. I started it on Friday and finished it on Saturday. It started out as a halloween cake and I had Kali pick different colors and we drew our own design, but she still wanted the fence and haunted house along with bats, lol. It kind of ended up looking like a haunted valentines day cake!

March 12, 2010

2010-03-12T06:29:00.000-08:00

Kali had her birthday March 6, 2010. In 2004 the four of us were living in my in-laws back bedroom (squishy!) and I'd just had a shower at 11 p.m. at night. My water broke (it was the wierdest feeling kind of like a balloon popping), luckily I had my shower towel. I got my stuff all packed up and went to my kind of hospital, my parents house. I layed down in their upstairs bedroom and surprisingly was able to fall asleep until about 4:30 when I woke up to a particularly painful contraction. I breathed through the contractions for about an hour before I decided I needed some moral support and then woke up John. We went downstairs and my mom who was getting my brothers ready for school decided to make me some eggs, you know to get my strength up for labor. The smell of the frying butter made me so nauseous I thought I was gonna loose my cookies! I decided I couldn't be there in all the noise and confusion, these contractions were getting a lot more painful and the smell, oy! I started trying to walk up the stairs and the pain got a lot more intense and I had to stop twice for two different contractions which meant they were getting closer together. That was the worst trip I've ever had up a set of stairs, can we say ouch. I had to make up though that's where my bed was. I got up to my room and decided I wanted to get in the shower, that's where my happy place was, yes a hot shower, ahhh. Anyway, my parents got my bro's off to school and then decided they were ready to deal with me so my dad checked my dialation and said I was between a 6 or 7 and they were quite surprised at how far along I was. My last two labors lasted FOREVER so I was surprised to, yet not surprised at the same time because, well, it hurt like a &*(^!! So I'd read somewhere in one of my books if you visualize your womb opening and work with the muscles instead of against it's not as painful also sitting on the toilet helps in a gravitational way, so I decided what the heck. I sat on the toilet for the next hour, more or less, and breathed my way through some painful contractions. But they really felt different when I pictured my womanly ligaments all opening up for this baby to come through, kinda cool. I decided I was done with the toilet when I felt like I was gonna start pushing and my said you don't want to have your baby on the toilet do you, lol. So I moved onto a lazyboy they had set up for me in the bedroom where I had slept. I didn't use it for very long though because my labor had slowed down so much, I have to say the rest was nice. I decided to stand up because it had worked so well when I was in labor with Alex it really got it going. So I stood up and it helped a lot, got me going in a positive direction, I was afterall ready to have this baby outta me. John was standing in front of me holding me up while I pushed. Then all of the sudden the babies head crowned, I told everyone about it, I was standing up after all and they couldn't see what was going on I had my mumu on so ther was zero vizability, lol. My dad felt around and informed everyone yep it's right there, so my mom said "sit down", and I said "no", "Sit down Kristal", "NO mom I can't sit down!" I really felt like I couldn't sit down imagine having something like that between your hips and rotating into a sitting position, it wasn't happening! So my dad said, "it's alright I'll just catch the baby." So out the baby came and my dad told us all it was a girl. I had to sit down but John being in front of me meant my dad and the baby were behind me, so I had to pivot on one foot and swing the other over the umbilical cord, lol, it was quite awkward. I finally sat down and was able to see my tiny little Kali, she was so small and beautiful, with no hair of course, what she did have looked strawberry blonde. It was early in the morning around 10 a.m. and the labor only really lasted for 6 hours, it was a totally amazing experience. I was able to then go take a shower while my mom cleaned her up and then we all ate and took a nice long nap, ahhh! Then that whole night this little girl kept gulping in air with these little squeaking noises, I had to keep burping her all night so she wouldn't get a bunch of gas pain. It was kinda wierd. Kali to this day belches so loudly she makes the rafters shake, I think it's a throw back to those early first days of air gulping. I am so glad to have her in my life she is my girliest girl and has the biggest eyes out of all my children. She also has always said I love you and extremely frequent number of times, teaching me how important it is to verbalize our feelings for eachother. I love you kali I hope you had a fun birthday!

March 11, 2010

2010-03-11T12:44:00.000-08:00

Picture day yet again, these weeks seem to drag sometimes but when I take my picture I think 'it's already been a week!' Anyway I'm seeing more results on the front of my stomach and the back of my legs (thank goodness). I was getting a lot of cheese curd back there and it seems to be disappating now. My boobs, unfortunately, are also getting smaller :( Boo. I will fix that sometime soon to though so don't despair, I'm sure you're all really worried. I have 5 weeks left until my final weigh in, the 15th of April. When I started I weighed 131lbs and my fat content was 20%. Today I weighed 135lbs and my fat content is at 19.3%, I never did my inches myself so I really have no clue what they were but I've definately lost some inches! John still weighs the exact same as before and his fat is at 11.2% I wish mine was that low! My body would be screwed up hormonally if it was though, so never mind. I'm also starting the next level of my transformation, lol. I'm going to start going to the tanning beds and today I'm adding some color to my hair, just some highlights, maybe amber or red. I am seriously getting too many grey's on my head, so wish me luck with my color choice, lol.

march 10, 2010.. Later that Day

2010-03-10T20:08:00.000-08:00

Ok I already wrote a post on here today but I feel so bad, I ate terribly! Horribly! I ate so many vanilla wafers I can't even count how many, and the tater tots I had like 20. I didn't use to even eat that many when I had them in my diet! I have overdone it folks. I also had two breadsticks for dinner last night and three with my spaghetti tonight! I'm talking pure white flour Pilsbury doughboy type breadsticks, mmmm! Oh my word, what is wrong with me! Oh I also ate like 5 chocolate chip cookies yesturday! I'm using a lot of exclamation points in this post trying to get my disgust across to you all. I hate it when my body has more control than my mind, who's in charge here. I feel like an addict to the white, simple carb, highly processed foods. I know I'm an addict, I need to break this ugly cycle of abuse. I obviously can't do it cold turkey, so how should I do it? I don't know! On a more positive note I got a new calling in my ward, I am co-girls camp director with my sister in law Holly. I am excited but scared a little bit because I've never done anything but go as a YW participant in camp. Oh Well I'm sure it'll be fun.

March 10, 2010

2010-03-10T07:06:00.000-08:00

Wow, John's chest is getting so much wider, I'm impressed! It's not really too hard to wake up in the morning now, I'm pretty much use to it and more importantly I'm use to going to bed at 9 or 10 at night depending on the week. I need 8 hours or I'm a zombie it's just a fact of my life, I can't live on 5 or 6 like John can. I weighed 135 this morning which is hard for me to look at, I know I'm skinnier but the scale is still my enemy. I read an article in womens fitness (a magazine i bought) and it claimed that when you first start working out the muscle that replaces the fat weighs more (I knew that already) and that it generally takes 8 weeks for you to really see the scale started to drop (that I didn't know). Eight weeks seems like forever when you're living it. I still have one more week to go to even get there. I wonder if my saddle bags will ever get to a size I like, I mean I like the way I look in jeans, but in a swimming suit like in these photos I keep taking for instance. When i flex and lift my arms away from my body it really shows the disproportion. Small waist (thankfully) and huge butt! I have to live with it so don't tell me it's not huge. I'm fitting in to size 6's but I'm also really really short so it means something different for me than it does for all you tall girls. It's just a concern of mine I have about my body, which we all have, this is mind.

March 5, 2010

2010-03-05T19:58:00.000-08:00

We were really dumb and ate pizza before we took these pictures at 6:30 at night, lol. I am not very impressed with the way the pictures looked but I have been so darn busy lately it was the only time I could squeeze a picture in. I'll just have to take my picture in the morning next time if I want it to look super duper :P. Anyway my work outs have been going really well and my eating has been going just ok, obviously if I'm eating pizza I haven't been eating every night of the week but I have been eating too much of the naughty stuff. I was so going to be hard core but I only really lasted two weeks and then it started sneaking into my diet and now it's trying to barrel it's way through. I did so well all day until tonight and I started counting it as the weekend instead of just waiting! Self control Kristal self control.

March 2, 2010

2010-03-02T06:11:00.000-08:00

Well it's been easier to wake up in the mornings now, I've consigned myself to going to bed earlier like 8:30 last night for example. It helps if I do all my junk in the morning and have some quiet time in the afternoon to myself. I do run a daycare but we all have nap time at the same time :). I still weigh the exact same still no change there 131-134lbs, it's always fluctuating depending on the time of day I weigh myself. I'm always having to focus on eating vegetables to, I'm just never drawn to them! I've decided not to up my weights anymore for a while, I'm just going to work on adding reps for now. If I get up to twelve reps and it's not a challenge then I'll think about adding another five pounds or something. I'm just not getting defined like I want to be and I only have six more weeks left so I think the reps will do it... hopefully.

Feb. 26, 2010

2010-02-26T12:26:00.000-08:00

I'm a day late posting the end of week five's pic's. It doesn't seem like it's been a week, the more you're doing the faster time goes by. I worked out this morning and sprained my neck! I enitially hurt it doing shoulder shrugs and just ignored the little pain I recieved from that and went on to do some tricep workout on a machine and totally killed it. I can't turn my neck all the way to the right anymore, that's the side that hurts. So I'm icing it today and got my dad to look at it and adjust it. I also got a talking to for lifting to much weight, I added 20lbs. onto the 90lbs I was already shrugging. My dad is so funny, he told me I should go take some testosterone and turn into a man if I was gonna start being so extreme in lifting my weights. I just didn't want to hit a platoe and see no results, but I got results just not the kind I wanted. It's a good thing it's the weekend, I'll just do my class with light weights and none on sunday :).

Feb. 25, 2010

2010-02-25T09:10:00.000-08:00

Yesterday night John suggested that we sleep in and then go work out tonight at 5p.m. when daycare was over and done. I totally didn't want to wake up this morning knowing that John didn't care made me not care, I'm totally losing my motivation. I think it's time to recommit and write down my goals again, it's hard to remember why I started this crazy thing sometimes. Day to day life gets in the way, it's the same with anything that will help me change for the positive like reading my scriptures and personal morning prayer. For some reason I have a hard time keeping to those things that I know are good for me on a DAILY basis. The bad stuff is easier to slip into but makes life harder in the long run, but like I said before it's a day to day thing. Life is also like money, if you don't keep track of it, you can just spend it all and be surprised when your account balance is zero. Then say, I swear I had more, where did it all go. That's probably what I'll be thinking on my way up to heaven. So in other words, I need to try and make the positive changes now before my time is all spent. I also know I'll enjoy life a lot more when my spirit is stronger than my bodily urges, like the urge to eat chocolate. That one for some reason is stronger than my brain knowledge that I will get fat if I eat too much of it!

Feb. 23, 2010

2010-02-23T12:07:00.000-08:00

I woke up early and exercised for an hour and a half this morning, yeah me! Then John, yes the beloved husband whom I cannot refuse, bought me an Arby's turkey sandwich on white bread with tomatoe (lol), and curly fries with cheese sauce. I seriously cannot say "no" to the combination of a handsome face and a good smelling lunch. I am weak, well when it comes to John and fast food. I also wanted to say that I got called by a daycare provider wondering if I had an opening for an infant whose mother died giving birth to her/him on saturday! Who dies from childbirth these days, I was shocked and saddened needless to say. I wonder if I will be giving my hours to this new infant, I will tell you more if I do end up watching her/him. Poor little baby and grandma who is raising it. I am soooo blessed not to have to deal with death in that way at this point in my life!

Feb.22 2010

2010-02-22T14:55:00.000-08:00

This month is almost gone, yikes! I have 4 weeks behind me and my workouts are about 5 a week. Mondays almost always never work out and it's mostly because I go so hard on saturday physically and stay up to late on Sunday. It's ok though, it's more long term, I was just hoping I could do more for 12 weeks but you know what, 12 weeks is a long time. I wish I didn't have a daycare most days so that I could workout whenever I wanted, but then I wouldn't have any money so that won't do either, lol. I always eat well on the weekends but I also stick in some stuff that I like, chocolate chip cookies for example. I know I said I didn't like them in an earlier post, but I find the less I eat junkfood, the more I enjoy it when I do have it. It's either that or because I'm menstrating and hormones change my tastebuds, anyone who's ever been pregnant know this to be true. I'm also finding that when I'm stressed out I start to want to eat more, just to distract my brain from the negative thoughts floating around in there, I need to find a new distraction. Meanwhile, I haven't gained or lost any weight, yep still the same. :( I was really hoping once I added some of that cardio on I would see more difference in the weight loss or gain. Oh well, I have 7 1/2 more weeks left we'll just have to wait and see what comes of it.

2010-02-18T10:26:00.000-08:00

2010-02-18T08:52:00.000-08:00

Feb. 17, 2010

2010-02-17T13:20:00.000-08:00

ok so Monday's eating was a disaster and yesterdays wasn't much better but at least i ate some veggies. Today is much better but the protein count is hard to get up there I just want to eat carbs! I love bread and chips and cereal, :(. Anyway I went to the gym on Monday for way to long and didn't work out at all Tuesday morning because I knew I'd never be able to wake up, I needed my sleep after all that activity. I did lifting for 45 min. then a class right after for 1hr & 15min. then I went hiking on the redhill for an hour. Too much! yesterday all i did was practice the guitar and pick up dog poop in the backyard, lol. Today I will go running and weight lift on my own, Mary and I had a rough night last night, it was like flash backs from the toddler years. I was awake from 1-3a.m. so anyway I wasn't able to wake up at 5 and go to the gym. Oh well I'll make do and exercise at home, I'm done it plenty of times before. :)

Feb. 13 2010

2010-02-13T18:56:00.000-08:00

Alex has been playing basketball and it's interesting to watch, wow. He spaces off a lot and concentrates on defending he's really good the best defender on the team as a matter of fact. But he's so oriented on defending that he never watches the ball or even tries to help make points, lol. He knows how to dribble and shoot but never looks for a pass. I really don't know if he enjoys it, he says he does, but I think he just enjoys being a part of something and playing with boys his own age. Alex is the one in yellow, he and this boys just kept blocking eachother like crazy the whole game, it was making Emma and i laugh the whole time. Pretty fun to watch.

Flat Iron

2010-02-12T19:40:00.001-08:00

I bought a flat iron off of craigslist last week and tried it out on Mary's hair, and holy cow she has long hair. It actually made it easier to trim off the dead ends, lol and now she doesn't have the snarls that she use to because we cut them off. Isn't she cute, the kids kept saying "where's Mary, I don't see her?"

Feb. 11, 2010 Picture Day

2010-02-11T15:57:00.000-08:00

Well here we are again and I feel like the only difference I see is that I'm wearing make-up in this one and my hair is done. Judge the difference for yourself, this is the beginning of week four. I upped my shoulder press this morning to 30 lbs. and did 7 repetitions! I also did Zumba last night thanks to an invitation from Heather and it was totally fun, I didn't think I would be sore today but my shin area and my mid section are sore. I also ran four miles that morning so I don't know which one made me sore! I also decided at the end of this week I'm going to up my work out time up to 90 min. 45 iron, 45 cardio, which means I will have to wake up earlier! Oh well, whatever will be will be. I need the cardio to create more change! Next week I will be creating a slide show on picture day of all 5 pictures (beginning and week1-4) of all angles frontal, side, and rear, ah!

Feb. 09, 2010

2010-02-09T09:41:00.000-08:00

John and I had the hardest time waking up this morning so we only worked out our chests on the bench press and only for 30 min. we came home and did a bunch of decline push-ups while waiting for the day care kids to arrive. My body was just so tired and weak this moroning and I know it's because of my poor eating habits the last few days. I ate like a pig on superbowl sunday as previously mentioned, ate well on monday but finished it off with one cadsbury egg, which was delicious! Then I had a butterfinger candy bar and a few peach rings which I normally don't even like and I don't know why I did it. Normally I don't crave sugar, it's usually salty stuff and ranch dressing, etc. My body just wanted it and I gave into temptation, I failed that test :(. I will start over today with renewed vigor and drive, that's the only way to do it. I will be making up the difference all week but now that my head cold is almost gone I'll be able to start ramping up my cardio workouts to twice a week from, lol zero. That always helps me burn fat. One of my friends who remain nameless has taken some butt shots of herself and was as much in shock and disgust as I'm sure I was of mine. It's a scary/brave thing to do, yet also inspiring. If you're not as motivated to lose weight as you think you should be I would recommend it. With all the running I've done I would have seriously thought my butt would be smaller and more lifted but guess what the weight lifting is what is doing it, not the cardio. I'm so glad I started weight lifting because now I've been able to see the changes that have occured and I've been pretty consistant with eating a 1300 calorie diet, so I've been eating and changing. I do 40 percent of my diet as carbs, 40 percent as proteins, and 20 as healthy fats. I wouldn't recommend starving yourself because it'll come back to haunt you when you start to eat it again as fat gains. When I post my butt pics in a week and half it will make you feel better my anonymouse butt picture friends. Also John started counting his calories today and found out he's about 1000 short, lol! He should be eating between 2000 and 2500 with the 40/40/20 ration and he ate about 1200 cal. yesterday and that was with a snickers some m&m's and some peach rings, he ate what I had left over, lol. Anyway he's finally getting on the calorie counting band wagon only he has to up his cal's, why do guys have it so easy? His problem is he needs to eat 6 meals a day and he only gets in 3 maybe 4, healthy in between meal snacks. Almonds are great and granola bars the crunchy oat kind not the chewy candybar kind people. Also things dipped in natural peanut butter, like apples, and carrots, and celery, even raw zucchini. Raw vegetables always taste so gross to me, but if you dip them in ranch they're great, BUT ranch has so much fat and calories. Now if you dip them in peanut butter you get the protein counts up and it tastes great :) also it's the healthy kind of fat you need to be looking for.

Feb. 8, 2010

2010-02-08T10:10:00.001-08:00

well people, I think I'm to the point where I will be posting once or maybe twice a week. I don't know if people actually want to hear my daily complaints and most days I feel like I'm repeating myself saying; "I don't see any change, oh well I'll just keep going." So, I'm going to make it more simple :) unless I get some request to write daily - doubtful. I do have to say I did a leg press this morning of 270 lbs. and probably could have done more because I did 10 repetitions, can we say wow people. I also was the one who kicked John out of bed this morning instead of the other way around, it was probably because I actually went to bed at 9:30 because I just couldn't stay up any later, lol. More to come-in a few days :)

The physical transformation of the female body

2010-02-06T14:56:00.000-08:00

I liked watching this it's about 9 minutes long but it's fun to see the changes that have occured in the last 50 years and how society affects the way we see ourselves. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7s2QUJ_NDcE copy and past this into your web search and it'll bring the video right up. If not then go to youtube.com and search the physical transformation of the female body.

Feb. 6, 2010

2010-02-06T10:23:00.000-08:00

I keep trying to type in January, wow that month went fast! I went to the gym today but didn't do any cardio due to the head cold. I need to start running again so I can drop more fat, the more fat I drop the more defined I will be. Anyway I was feeling pretty discouraged the other day about my pictures so I made a folder in my computer of my three weeks of workouts and guess what I can see a difference but it's not from the front view it's from the rear and the side. I do not like the way I look from the back or side so i decided to only post the frontal view, well it worked against me. I also decided that on my monthly anniversaries I will be posting all five pictures from the month including the starting point and weeks 2-5. I did it wierd so that week two is actually the ending of the first week and the beginning of the second, I hope that makes sense. I'm also going to post a pic of me flexing because I feel like I want to have something with a little bit more substance rather than just a standing shot. I also found out that if you click on the pictures they become life size and you can see all my flaws up close, ahhh! Yuck, I do not like my stretch marks or my face at seven in the morning without makeup, scary! I know you all love and won't judge me too harshly :)

Feb. 5, 2010

2010-02-05T13:27:00.000-08:00

I hit my wall, this isn't fun anymore. I got a head cold yesterday, well it got stronger and started affecting my life yesterday. I am also tired from waking up so early. I didn't go to the gym this morning because I had such a hard time going to sleep last night due to breathing difficulties. 5a.m. is flippin early! It's something that's harder to do long term than actually working out long term that I can do. I'm also sick of not seeing progress in my pictures, I know it's only the start of the third week but it feels like it's been a lot longer probably due to the early mornings, blah! Now this is why I started this whole thing on a blog with pictures, and told everyone I care about that I'm doing this. If it wasn't for you guys I'd definately be slacking off at this point. I would maybe cut down my days to 3 a week and not wake up in the mornings and go in the evenings and eventually not be working out at all until it got warm outside. Wish me luck.

Feb. 4 2010

2010-02-04T05:59:00.000-08:00

Still no visible evidence of change, kind of disappointing. I hope by the 12th week we'll all be able to see something not just me. I've upped my weight in the gym, so I know I'm getting stronger and my eating habits have been awesome, I just need to be persistant.

Feb. 3, 2010

2010-02-03T14:49:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is picture day. I have been working out six days a week for over three weeks. I actually started working out before we started this goal so yes more than three weeks and I'm hoping the results will start to show in a more pronounced way. Last night John bought the kids some icecream, i had like six bites and he was chastising me and asking me if I was going to finish off the whole carton. I think he was worried he wouldn't get any, if it had been three weeks ago he wouldn't have. I knew that if I didn't eat any I would just start to be OCD about it and eventually go buy my own carton and eat the whole thing myself. Indulging in a few bites here and there is better for someone like me, if I share my treats it seems to help out as well. We still haven't found out about our appliances I'll keep you posted.

Feb. 1 2010

2010-02-01T20:45:00.000-08:00

I felt good today. It was my sis-in-law Kellie's b-day so she had a cake, I decided I'd take a small piece and I could only eat half. I am impressed with my body's natural unwillingness to consume sugar, it's like I have to force myself to eat it. Which makes me wonder how I got addicted to it in the first place, me thinks it was the peer pressure, or the idea that something will be better than it seems. I also am happy I got to show off my huge bicep to Penny today, thanks for looking and acting amazed at how big it was, lol.

Jan. 31, 2010

2010-01-31T14:23:00.000-08:00

oh my gosh, my butt is getting smaller! I put on some pants today that are usually skin tight and ,voila, baggy. And again with a skirt I wore to church today, it hasn't fit me that way since Alex was a baby and I ran that marathon. I love being able to see a physical change, :)It's good motivation to keep going.

Jan. 30, 2010

2010-01-30T13:41:00.000-08:00

I did a class at the gym today and instead of legs she worked out our upper bodies, I was looking forward to getting a good leg work out so, kind of disappointed but still got a good work-out. I went to my parents house to get a chiropractic adjustment, vital to my body so I won't get headaches and that wierd tingly sensation I get in my fingers when I work out too hard. Anyway, I showed my parents my muscles and my dad says "yeah but are they firm or all squishy?" referring to my triceps. "firm of course," I say. So he comes over and squeezes and they looked pretty squishy, lol. I do have some big guns but they are still covered in somewhere around 20% fat. My mom told me I looked skinnier, she is one of those who I know has a trained eye when it comes to seeing changes in me. After all what mom doesn't notice, not mine. I feel good, never hungry, always sore, which is a good sign when you're trying to build muscle. I'm also thinking about doing a cleansing, detoxifying fiber blend.

Week two pictures

2010-01-28T14:18:00.001-08:00

We look slightly better to ourselves, you may not notice the differences with your untrained eye. Ours are trained to notice the imperfections so yes we see the changes. Tell me what you think, and be honest, I wore my swimming suit a little lower this time I decided I would show my stretch marks and wear the suit right. I might wear the matching bottoms next pic we'll see.

Jan. 27

2010-01-27T20:15:00.000-08:00

Today was the worst day I've had in a long time. Yesterday was stressful but today we had some lady call us and say she was going to come and reposess our appliances! I still don't know if it's going to happen but man it made me so onry. I was yelling at the kids and trying not to eat too much junk. When i get upset I eat, I just wanted to go out and buy icecream, I don't know why but there you have it. I did not eat icecream but I did ask John to split a cafe rio salad with me and got my yummy food fix with greens and protiens instead of sugar. I also noticed that I want to eat tortillas when I'm unhappy, I grew up eating tortillas so that is something I'm going to have to curb. I didn't even keep track of my calories and water in take today, the problem wouldn't leave my brain and it made me feel really tired, :( stupid bankruptcy I hate you. I probably gained 10 pounds due to stress just today.

Jan. 26, 2010

2010-01-26T11:42:00.000-08:00

I've done really well with my food intake, I don't want to call it a diet, I hate that word. It's a lifestyle change, :) I found a really good salad I love to eat, it's so yummy. 3c. spinach, 1/2c. cottage cheese, 1 black bean burger, 1 tomatoe, 1 1/2 boiled eggwhites, 1/4c. sprouts. The cottage cheese is the dressing and I put a little salt and pepper on for seasoning, you almost don't need it with the bb burger which is a boca product I think, they sell it with the boca stuff anyway. It's only 288 calories for the whole thing and it gives you just over 33grams of protien which is so good, the fats are only 7.5 grams and the carbs are 25.7. I have a hard time with eating too many carbs verses protiens so this kind of evens out my day without having to eat just a plain can of tuna, which isn't too gross but this is sooo much better! My arm muscles are starting to look good, yeah pictures are in 2 more days!

Jan. 25, 2010

2010-01-25T06:04:00.000-08:00

Well yesterday was a bust. I only had two normal meals and they were about 4 hours apart, I was starving by the time i got home from church. I'll have to take some almonds with me or something. Then I went to a birthday party and had two bites of cake and icecream small ones, I thought I did pretty good. Then I went to a football party and ate a bunch of garbage. Snickerdoodles, chocolate chip cookies, shrimp, the sauce it goes with, 7 layer bean dip, chips of course to go with it, queso dip, more chips, more cookies. Nothing even tasted good to me except the snickerdoodles, it just sounded good and I kept hoping the chocolate would taste better but when you're not addicted to it, it's just not the same. I hadn't eaten sugar for a week and appearantly that's all it takes for your tastebuds to change because mine have. I love all those foods and they just didn't quench that desire I use to have to fulfill. I'm glad it's gone and I hope it never comes back! It will be a lot easier for me to walk past a plate of chocolate chip cookies in the future and those chips and dips I use to love so much, no more love for you chips and dips, good-bye. I have a superbowl party to go to in two weeks we'll see if my determination can hold up through it. I have to say that after eating all that sugar my body didn't react very well either. I started laughing a little too much from my sugar high and my stomach actually hurt. I got lethargic about 2 hours later before 9 o'clock which is my normal bedtime now and then in my workout this morning I had less energy and couldn't lift as much weight as I thought I should have. These are the things I need to remember the next time I have a temptation, it's not fuel for the body it's fuel for my addiction. Those addictions go away if you just stop it for a little while. So I still weigh the same but I'm seeing good definition in my arms and my butt and thighs still hurt from my class on saturday and I have three more days until my next picture update. I woke up at 5 again and went to the gym with John, we're doing good so far.

Jan 23 2010 DIET LINK

2010-01-23T11:56:00.000-08:00

I went to the gym this morning and did a class they concentrated on the legs, holy crap! I am going to be in pain! I did machines on Wednesday and concentrated purely on my thighs and calves(sp) and quads and didn't get sore at all which was very frustrating because I was doing more weight than I'm accustomed to but appearantly it wasn't enough or I would have felt it. I was doing hardly any weight today but the number of reps, wow! I have no butt muscles by the way, I couldn't keep up, I kept having to stop and rest my whimpy little muscles. And this is after all the running I've been doing for a year. Not impressed with myself at this point, but I am trying my hardest so I can only get better :). My water intake has gone up a lot in the last two days so I can get over 8 servings of 8oz. which was a goal of mine, and my percentages on my meals is getting closer to 40/40/20. I had to stop eating cheese to do it which I'm not missing yet which is strange, but I think it's because I've been getting my protein count up, hmmm interesting. I do not crave or want greens yet, blah! 3 cups of spinach ONLY equals 3 grams of protein, 3 carbs and virtually no fats. I found some good articles on what to eat for muscle building at bodybuilding.about.com/od/nutritionbasics/a/samplediet.htm. It would work for anyone trying to lose weight to, very healthy and low in calories.

Jan. 22 2010

2010-01-22T16:20:00.000-08:00

I took my bikini pic yesterday and have been trying to find my camera USB but it's truly lost so oh well I'll post today without it anyway. My picture experience at Gold's Gym was humiliating and a test for my ego which came through demolished, lol. I was 20% body fat according to GGym and my waist was 29" my thigh and hips I can't remember I unconciously blocked it out! I'm completely serious. I'm going to re-measure those two and my biceps because I do want to get buff so that should count to. I've been doing ok on my diet but not getting in enough calories, who knew that could be a problem! It's hard to get enough calories in when your so full of veggies you can't eat your grains. I am trying to follow a 40% protein, 40% carbohydrate, & 20% fat (healthy fats) diet. I'm also having trouble getting 8, 8oz. glasses of water in a day! I have been waking up at 5a.m. all week and going to bed at 9p.m. it's easy already after 5 days, I thought it would take longer but nope 4 days does it. I get to run tomorrow instead of lift so wish me luck.

Jan. 20th 2010

2010-01-20T08:47:00.000-08:00

I still need to figure out my diet, I don't eat enough protien, I eat too many carbs and I eat too many fats, of course! I thought I did pretty good yesterday but nope I didn't even drink enough water. I am so sore from my work outs though. I know that I must be getting stronger. My weigh in is tomorrow in my bikini, then I'll come home and take my own first week picture. Wish me luck!

Jan 19 2010

2010-01-19T08:35:00.000-08:00

I ate a whole bunch of doritos last night getting ready to say goodbye to junk food and of course I ate it with sourcream. I also had 6 grasshopper keebler elves cookies, mmm. I've promised myself I'm not going to eat that junk for 12 weeks so I have today and tomorrow and then no more. I've been eating lots of fruits and veggies with the crap to so I'm starting to morph over to the healthy new me. I weighed myself this morning on the gyms scale I was 132 I really ate a lot of doritos. I bet when I weigh in on Thursday for my competition weigh in I'll be between 125 and 128. I've been drinking more water than normal and drinking protien shakes to. My intestinal tract hasn't liked the whey protien, my dad Dr. Hobson is my dietician and he has informed me I need to eat legumes instead, :) thanks dad I'll do that. I know I've lost weight already because my wedding rings don't stay on my fingers anymore. Still looking for my fattest picture ever (I'm not counting post labor and deliver pics) I'll put it up soon.

Lifestyle change, sort of

2010-01-16T15:46:00.000-08:00

ok well I am going to be going hardcore!, lol. Well I want to lose some weight and I have decided to compete in Gold's Gym "know your own strength challenge", and it starts January 21. I will be posting pictures of my progress in a bikini starting on or around that day so I decided not to automatically forward posts to all my in-laws, that would just be to wierd for me. I am going to get buff like Jillin Michaels is buff, just an example (I love biggest loser). I don't know if I will be able to do that in 12 weeks more than likely not, but it will be a beginning. Now that I know I'm done having kids it's freed me to that physical aspect of developing my body. I needed a really good way to be held more accountable and I figure if I went to eat a piece of chocolate I'd have to think of all the people who would come to check up on my weekly pic and go, oh bummer she hasn't changed much she must be eating chocolate, lol. The plan is to lift weights four days a week and do cardio for a half hour on those days as well and then two days a week do purely cardio of some kind. I am also going to be drinking 70 oz. of water a day along with a plan I found on-line that sounded really good it goes like this: eat two veggies before each meal then drink a protien drink for muscle building, then eat between 150 and 300 calories depending on if you are full or hungry. You eat four times a day and you take fat burning supplement. I'm overreactive to caffeine though so I don't know if I can pull that one off, I'm experimenting right now to see if I will be able to go to sleep tonight. I'm starting off with a half a pill a day. It supposedly speeds up your matabolism and suppresses your appetite, :) if only. If I do win the golds gym challenge i can win around $2000 if not then I will at least have the motivation along with this blog to reach my goals. I want to lower my fat and up my muscle who doesn't though? I will know more of my specific goals when I get measure on the 21st by the GG trainers then I'll post it along with my picture. I will be done on the second tuesday in April, just in time for swimming suit season. ahhhh, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Being a mom

2009-12-16T14:36:00.000-08:00

Some days being a mom is monotinous(our however you spell it). Then other days your kids like to spice things up for you by say, leaving without telling you where they are going, or stealing a piece of gum or candy. Other days they get bored just like their mothers but decide that screaming and yelling at eachother with fill that need to create or just feel like their alive. Sometimes it's happy screaming filled with laughter and other times it's not so happy and words of hate are thrown around like fireworks on the fourth of july. I as an adult prefer reading or say taking a nice walk around the block maybe even a jog down a bike path. But oh no this is not enough for a kid, they have too much life to live and emotions to explore. As their mom I don't know if I should squelch these emotions of joy and anger that are so loud I feel as if my brain will explode at any moment, or if I should let them work these things out themselves. Teach them true principles and let them govern themselves it seems is harder to live by than it looks especially when there are four or more children involved. Seriously I wonder how old should they be when you start letting them work it out themselves. I was 13 when I decided that i truly hated my brother and didn't speak to him for about 5 years except when it wasn't decent to ignore him. Now that I am an adult I see that it was just a clash of two very strong personalities and not necissarily hatred. I do love my brother but I wonder at what point do I let my children decide they hate or love eachother without stepping in. I don't think my parents even realized that this had occured or they might have said something to me, they had said something to me on countless occassions previous. Life is full of mysteries even if I never leave my little circle of influence I will, I'm sure, continue being amazed at the new things I learn. Mostly it's because of my children, wow life would really being boring and pointless without them, I am so thankful that I am able to be a mom and that I decided to have kids early because who knows what would have happened had I waited.

Leaves Leaves Leaves

2009-12-04T12:43:00.000-08:00

Leaves are falling all around

2009-12-04T11:52:00.000-08:00

We had a lot of fun today. We were outside for about an hour just playing in the leaves, it was cold but when we got inside we warmed up with some hot cocoa. I finally got my camera out so I also have some fun pic's to look at.

Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T08:03:00.001-08:00

I am so thankful for my family and the chance to live in america and be free, well relatively free, from teranny. I love the fact that I can homeschool my kids and not give them immunizations if I choose not to. I can be an extremist when it comes to my children and some people will look at me and think I'm funny but I know why I'm doing it and that's all that matters. I am free to choose to be a vegetarian and to use herbal remedies to help our families ailments and I can take them to the hospital whenever I need to also. I can choose to have as many children as I can and I can do all my birthing at home. I know I sound extreme and maybe a little bit like a tree hugger but when it comes down to it I don't care what other people think. But I am glad we are free to have our own opinions and raise our families according to those opinions. God is good and he loves me so much I am thankful for his daily influence in my life. I love my husband and I am so thankful he loves me and treats me with respect and loves our children. I live in a beautiful house that is warm and comfortable and big enough for our family plus some. I have so many clothes and I can choose to be modest and live in a community that accepts my standards and most applaud morality and modesty, this I am so thankful for as I try to raise my daughters to understand the meaning of it. I am also thankful for the way this community I live in tries to teach their sons to respect that morality and makes it easier to teach my son to set high standards for what he chooses to look at and accept in a girl as well. I am thankful I am different and that I am still loved by my sister-in-laws despite it. My brothers don't seem to care and my mom & mother-in-law just seem to accept me no matter what I choose, this I am thankful for to. Also as I get older it seems harder to have friends who aren't in the family so I am thankful for the friends I have who actively reach out to me in my life. I love you all and hope you know I mean it. Happy Thanksgiving to you all

Certified

2009-11-21T16:03:00.000-08:00

I am finally a license child day care provider which doesn't really change much but i worked hard to get this piece of paper so I am going to be well pleased with it. The other day John told me a way to avoid being proud is to do like our father in heaven who is well pleased in his son, be well pleased. I am well pleased with my children as well. They all wrapped up their soccer games today and it didn't matter to me if they won or lost only if they tried to kick the ball, John might disagree but oh well. Soccer is over and in this I am well pleased, no not proud don't get confused pride is a sin being well pleased is completely different. Now we are going to start a round of gymnastics and basketball and maybe dance. I don't know if I'll be able to handle it?! I guess we'll see. I keep my kids couped up all day because I like being at home the least I can do is let them get out once in a while. Kali got lost today for about thirty minutes, she had gone down to the Bowlers, who didn't know Kali & Eve F. were there (in all honesty the Bowlers probably weren't even home), and played on their teeter totter. When they finally decided to come home at least our family and the Finlinsons family were very nervous and looking frantically for them. Needless to say I was not well pleased and Kali is now grounded! It is causing me to miss out on movie night with the Osness family, no I am not well pleased.

Fast Sunday

2009-11-02T16:26:00.000-08:00

We sure had fun trick or treating on saturday, Emma was a vampiress, Alex dressed up as a sick Darth Vader, Kali was a snow princess, Mary was Wendy the witch, John was Jafar, and I was Repunzel. Thank you to John's aunt Diana who is the queen of halloween costumes. They had a fun spook alley down by our house that a neighbor just puts on for fun and I took Kali and Mary through it, they went unknowingly and Emma and my nephews opted out having gone through it the year before. It's actually pretty gruesome and I don't think they'll repeat it again next now that they know what it is. My parents watched Alex for us while we collected his candy for him. After trick or treating I started getting really nervous about Alex's health, I was worried about dehydration mostly. I started going on-line and checking for warning signs and I was quizzing him to make sure his brain was still working right. Anyway I ended up asking John to give him a health blessing so he called up his bro. Brian who lives down the street and they gave him a blessing. The next morning he was up and chipper and eating his breakfast, it really stregthened our testimonies of the priesthood. He's had some downs since then and still had a two hour nap today and didn't want his lunch but now he's starting to be more active again tonight. I sure hope nobody else gets the stomach flu at my house!

The Flu

2009-10-30T22:32:00.000-07:00

I was at the D.I. today and on the way out my son, said "I think I'm going to throw up." I didn't know what to do, so I started looking for bags, nope the one i have is completely full of shoes. The bathroom, nope, from the way he's holding his hand in front of his mouth it's way too far away. So I told him "if you throw up do it over here by these bushes in the dirt. So he walks over there and starts to syphon this stuff out. Like a hose. He tried to catch it, and so he had throw up all over his arm and hand, it was disgusting. At first I didn't know wether I should take the girls to the car and get him when he was finished. There were about 15 people coming in to the store when he was doing this, I was emberassed. There's usually only 2 or 3 people outside at a time but it was the busiest I've ever seen it. My maternal instinct kicked in and I realized I couldn't pretend I didn't know the puking kid, so I stood in front of him trying to block all the stares. He just kept going and going. My daughter Kali pointed out to me, "oh taco soup". When he finally stopped he was dripping it of his nose and of course off his finger tips and out of his mouth, it was a sight to behold. He stunk, I'm giggling as I write this because I'm still emberassed and Alex takes it all in stride. I thought he was half joking when he said he had to puke because he's so nonchalant about it. Anyway we got him cleaned up and home and now we all know what we can all stand in a public area includes a vomiting session.

Books

2009-10-27T15:03:00.000-07:00

I've been selling my books on Amazon and so far I've lost money on the deal but I've figure out you do not use UPS on those books if you want to make money ship them standard in the mail. I've sold 3 books in 4 days though not bad. I hope it keeps up because I have a lot of self help books that I've either read once and it's satisfied me not read it any more, or I wasn't interested in reading it in the first place. They have some .01 books over there if anyone is interested.

Fresh Beginnings

2009-10-25T11:31:00.000-07:00

I read this amazing book called The China Study by T. Colin Campbell and the reason I appreciated reading it so much is because three of my grandparents have been affected by cancer. My grandma Alldredge lived through hers and is still kicking at 92 but the other two died at 62 and 80 years of age and my Grandpa Hobson died of a set of strokes that slowly killed him. I'm sure some of that was from nutritional choices. Anyway it's why I'm a vegan off and on and would like to be a complete vegan very soon. My problem is I'm addicted to cheese, and sourcream, and icecream isn't too bad to taste either. I ate at least 1000 calories of some mint fudge crap John brought home the other day. No he didn't bring it home for me but it was in the house so I ate it. I need to develop that next intellectual level where I have complete control over what goes into my body instead of my body having control over what I eat. I seem to use the words crave, or I feel like, I need to stop that. I am going to be going on a quest not just for Vegetarian meals, but Vegan meals which have no animal proteins. That means no meat (obviously), no eggs, no milk products of any kind, nothing that came from an animal. If you research this lifestyle you'll find that you can find protein in other places. Where do you think cows get their protein, they don't go out and eat chicken for dinner, or do they? If you have a question about cancers and how they are connected to these proteins I strongly encourage you to read this book!

2009-10-24T21:32:00.000-07:00

2009-10-24T21:24:00.001-07:00

my friend Felisa took our family pictures and did a great job. This one wasn't my favorite but i got sick of uploading pics onto my blog. And this one probably looks great to everybody else anyway.

I'm over it

2009-10-24T20:31:00.000-07:00

so I haven't had the internet for quite a while and one of the reasons was because it is a time stealer. MY kids need me and I can tell they've had enough when they start whining and crying and sitting on my lap so I can't type anymore. But I am going to try post STUFF on my blog again. No one knows it even exists anymore but I'm going to do it for me anyway and John can look to if he wants. Love ya babe.